Can You Have It All?

Success. Marriage. Family.

A few years ago on the Real Housewives of New York, Bethenny Frankel tearfully confessed to her then-friend Jill Zarin how she longed for a husband and family, yet her career was just taking off and she wanted to realize her dreams, be successful.

Jill gently told her, you can't have it all. She had to choose: successful career or family.

Well, Bethenny has it all. Earlier this year she graced the cover of Forbes magazine. Frankel, 40, had recently sold her Skinnygirl Margarita drink for $100 million. She also is a New York Times best-selling author and has her own show on Bravo, Bethenny Ever After about, guess what - her family. She has a handsome husband and beautiful little baby.

She's living her dream: family and success.

But can you really DO it all - and be successful at all of it?

I recently interviewed an entrepreneur who once owned a billion dollar company. She sold her company after she had a child. She learned, she said, that she couldn't give 100% to her company and 100% to her child. She wanted to be a great mother as well as a great business owner. "I didn't have 300% inside me," she said.

Oprah has noted the sacrifices it takes to be a great mother. She's said that she could not have done her show the way she did it, if she had had children. She also has said that if she had gotten married she would be divorced because with marriage there are expectations.

Those expectations may have led to the breakup of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. They married, had twins and everything seemed cool. Ironically once Jennifer re-entered the workforce — as a judge on AMERICAN IDOL, commercials for L'Oreal and Gillette, a new album — her marriage unraveled.

Obviously we see women everyday who are able to juggle careers and family. There's no better example than Michelle Obama, an Ivy-league educated professional who is able to carry out her duties as First Lady, be a supportive spouse to the President and raise two well-adjusted children.

But you also can't ignore the fact that two of the most powerful Black women in the world, Oprah Winfrey and Condoleeza Rice, don't have families.

So I ask:
Is it possible to give 100% to a family and 100% to a career?
Does your family life determine how far you can go with your career?
Can I be super, uber successful and have a supportive spouse who understands my ambition or will I be expected to put my career on hold to be the supportive spouse of a successful mate?

whew.

Let me know your thoughts.