Marriage Material

Recently I was looking through a summer edition of Jet magazine with the original Foxy Brown, Pam Grier, on the cover. Grier is an icon of the '70s blaxploitation movies and at 61, she's as beautiful as ever.

Grier has been busy doing television, movies and promoting her New York Times best-selling memoir Foxy: My Life in Three Acts. In the book she talks about her tragic childhood, career, love and loss. She dated a number of famous men including comedian Richard Pryor and basketball star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

According to the Jet article, Grier is still reeling from a recent breakup with a man she called, "Lance." The actress described her former lover as a blue blood from the East Coast. Basically he told her she wasn't good enough for him.

The news was painful.

"Lance told me that I wasn't 'country club,'" Grier told Jet. "That really surprised me. I didn't have an Ivy League education, but I'm well read. That's what hurt me the most when he did that."

wow.

I guess "Lance" felt that the beautiful and legendary Pam Grier was good enough to date for a while, but this award-winning actress was not marriage material - not good enough to be his 'country club' wife.

Ouch - that even hurt me.

But don't we know guys who will date the same woman for 5,10,15 years and then marry someone ELSE. To me it's saying, 'You'll do for now until I find "the one."' I know a guy who dated a young lady for about 5 years. He went to his college homecoming game and met someone else. They married about a year later. I wonder, was the first young lady not "marriage material"? She was a very sweet girl, but I remember the one he married was a little more polished, sophisticated.

I recall another guy friend I had known quite a while. He always dated wild women - loud, over-the-top girls who wore very revealing clothing. He ended up marrying a very quiet, soft-spoken school teacher. WTF? I did not see that coming.

I guess guys look for different things when they're ready to settle down with a wife - someone could be a fun girlfriend, but not marriage material.

Does this explain my present state of singleness?
I wonder if men see me as marriage material or just someone cool to hang out with until they find 'the one.'

hmmm.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on what "Lance" told Grier?
Do you think you're "marriage material"?
Has it been difficult to find men who are "marriage material"? (Because I don't believe we are the problem.)
Maybe I should ask a few men what kind of woman they consider marriage material because I know too many good single women.

Let me know your thoughts.

photo by geminicollisionworks.