Lessons from the Millionaire Matchmaker

While up late one night earlier this week, I caught the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger, on a rerun of The Oprah Winfrey Show. Since I haven't caught up with my cable guy yet, I've really been missing my reality shows. Oprah, Patti and design expert Nate Berkus were trying to help a 42-year-old single woman looking for love. She just didn't understand why she couldn't land a boyfriend.

Like me, this lady had a long list of the qualities she wanted in her ideal mate: never married, no kids, fun, passionate, smart, pet-friendly, etc. Among other things, she wanted a man who did not drink out of a straw. Yep, a straw. She said her father once told her that John Wayne would never use a straw, meaning real men just grab the cup/glass and throw it back.

Anyway, Patti (and Oprah and Nate) told her that she would never find love with a list as long as hers. And the Millionaire Matchmaker gave her some tips. Here are a few:
1) Determine the 5 most important values/qualities you want in a mate (just 5).

2) The No.1 place to meet single men? Skiing. (Did you know that? I need to go on a few ski trips next winter.)

3) When the woman (lady, female) asks all the questions, that means she is doing the pursuing. (wow, I never knew that. My dates are always like a 20/20 interview. I try to find out as much information as possible to determine whether I'm going to continue to spend my time with this person.)

4) Divorced men are the best kept secrets. According to Patti, divorced men are not commitment-phobes. They don't want to be alone and they are really interested in relationships, getting it right. (interesting because one of the major things on my list is "never married." But I may have to adjust my list, do some rethinking.)

So on Thursday night I put one of Patti's tips to the test. During my date with a man I had met a few weeks ago, I didn't do my usual drill (where are you from? married? kids? divorced? etc.) Instead, I held my tongue and let him take the lead on the conversation. It went well for the most part. We talked and laughed. I learned a lot about him without giving him an interview. When he asked what I was looking for in a mate/man, I didn't give him my usual spiel: a college-educated professional who has never been married, no kids and believes in monogamy. Instead I mentioned honesty, intelligence, hard work, etc. When I asked him what he was looking for he said honesty, loyalty, passion, forgiveness.

"Forgiveness? You messing up already?" I asked.

We laughed.

He walked me to my car and we've made plans for another date.

What do you guys think of Patti's tips? Do you agree? disagree?