I really don't want to be sad about my situation.
I want to remain upbeat and optimistic. There's a song that says "Count It All Joy." I can't do that right now, maybe later; but not now. It's hard. I have to face reality and it ain't nothing joyful.
I am discouraged, sad, alone, lonely; regretting the choices I made. I keep thinking about what could have been, what should have been. I know, I know, you can't change the past. But I am so mad at myself !!!
Why Lottie? Why couldn't you have been smarter? Why didn't you make the right decision?
Why did you have to be so selfish? Why didn't you do what you were suppose to do?
My life would be so different now. I would be happy.
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6 comments:
a) maybe what you did WAS what you should've done, and 2) who's to say you'd be happy now from a decision 5 or 10 years ago? life's too short to second guess stuff. there's a reason you made the choices you made; you have to believe God has you. perhaps HE'S the reason you made those choices.
stop dwelling on what ifs & focus on now. other people don't make you happy, anyway. not if you aren't already happy with yourself.
I needed to hear your words and the anonymous comments. I don't know what decision you had to make or how long ago it was. I am dealing with a recent decision that has caused me pain. Thank you both for letting me know that we all make decisions that we doubt later on, but the fact that you verbalized yours, for me to hear, shows that our decisions are, sometimes, about things bigger than ourselves. God bless and keep you.
Reading your words brought me back to a New Year's sermon that I heard recently. We have all possibly made mistakes or made not the best choices, but God is a God of second, third, fourth, etc chances. He truly does want you to have the desires of your heart. As for your past and the choices that you may have made,in Isaiah 43:18 the Lord says:
18Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.
19Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
Please read this scripture and truly meditate on it. When you find the past entering your mind and your spirit, try to hold on to God's promise in this scripture. It's the best I can do day to day cause I have moments of doubt as well.
I'm not sure what you are talking about, but you are happy now. You made the right decision at the time. You don't really know that you would have been happier in a different situation either. Your life may have been different than it is now, but you might not have been happier. Please stop beating yourself up over the past. The past has passed.
Woulda, coulda, shoulda will drive you crazy.
Move forward cause you can't stand still and you can't go back.
Love you, Lot. Don't be so hard on yourself. You know I think you are the BEST!
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