Monday, August 31, 2009

Mean Girls


Recently my mentee, Norquesha, returned to school at Bennett College for Women in Greensboro, N.C. This summer, I met one of her good friends, Carmen. She was smart, well-spoken and had plans to get an MBA.

Carmen revealed to me one day that she didn't initially like Norquesha because she would "walk in class with her head up and shoulders back."

"I said, 'Who is this little girl walking with her head up,'" said Carmen, laughing at her silliness.

I was like, "What? You don't like someone because how they walk in a classroom?" I was taken aback.
Norquesha is tiny, maybe 4 foot 9 (and that's pushing it) and 95 pounds soaking wet. I would always tell her to walk with her head up. But I never thought people wouldn't like her because of that.

Later on, Norquesha revealed to me that a lot of girls on campus didn't like Carmen because Carmen drove a BMW. Her father had given her that car.

Wow. You don't like someone because their parents gave them a nice car to drive?

But I had to remember being their age. Did we not like someone just because of how they walked or what they drove? I can't remember being so petty in college, but maybe I was.

Even today, I'm sure you've run into folks who don't like you for whatever reason - (maybe because you're hot and smart :)

What about you?
Can you think of a time you didn't like someone for superficial reasons? (she think she cute, she think she all that, she think she smart, etc.)
Have you ever had an opinion of someone before meeting them, but once you got to know them you realized that the person was really cool?

Are there folks who didn't like you for whatever reason (and maybe still don't)?

Let me know your thoughts.

4 comments:

SingLikeSassy said...

You read my tweets/blog, so you know I'm hateful. LOL!

But I've never forgotten that one roommate told me if we hadn't been roommates she knew I would not have been her friend cause all my friends were cute and popular. That crushed me because one, she basically said I was shallow, and two, I loved her to death! We're still friends today!

SingLikeSassy said...

OH! And I thought it was interesting that she thought me and my friends were all cute and popular because I most definitely did not see myself that way.

SingLikeSassy said...

Ahem. I meant "my friends and I." OK, I'm done. :0)

Simply D'Vine said...

I totally identify with this! I am a grown ass woman and still deal with this......in church, work and yep the in-laws!
I have always been told by my parents that I have no reason to walk around with my head down.
I fought A LOT in highschool behind - I think I'm better than everyone cause I didn't hang with the "click". I preferred having guy friends in highschool cause girls were so petty and nope it did not stop in College.
My most recent issue was someone that I supervised. She told her peer that I am the token and not "black" enough! WTF??? I earned my position just like the rest and what is black enough?!!!!
Females can be jealous driven and we are harder on each other.
Just watch the the real housewives of Atlanta and NeNe will show you what I mean!
BTW - I don't like that show because it enforces that whole notion that its not enough to go around and we have to fight to get ours even if it means betraying your friends!