I got a call from one of my high school classmates a few weeks ago. It was a pleasant surprise. He reminded me that our 20th class reunion was next year. Next year? I couldn't believe it. I've been out of high school for 20 years? But I look so young !
I have to admit that this is not the life I had imagined for myself when I was in high school. Having unrealized dreams is sad, a tragedy even. Joan Rivers once said, "If you're not doing what you want to do then you're a fool."
I'm a fool.
I've asked myself often — what is keeping me from becoming the person I want to be? Why aren't I doing what I really want to do? Why am I not living the life of my dreams?
There's a host of culprits: fear. procrastination. complacency.
I don't know where to start - that first step, that first phone call.
And at this age, is it even possible to become the person I want to be?
Is it still worth it to pursue my dreams?
At this moment, I don't want to attend my high school reunion.
I feel like such a failure — personally and professionally.
This is not what my life was suppose to be. I'm not living happily ever after.
What about you?
Are you where you thought you would be in life?
Are you where you want to be?
What's holding you up?
6 comments:
um, hello? your life isn't over. you're ALWAYS becoming the person you want to be. for the rest of your life you'll be becoming. otherwise, there's nothing left to reach for, and you might as well close the casket, say goodnight.
I think we are too hard on ourselves. We weren't given some roadmap for success. We are still figuring things out.
We just have to embrace who we are and try to make the most out of our reamining years.
The hard thing for me is when I read about some 27-, 31-, 34-year-old somebody running a company, writing a third book, starting a foundation or some other friggin' fantastic accomplishment. I feel like I was supposed to have done something more noteworthy than what I've done by age 37-almost-38. I know, "Compare and despair," but I understand Lot. Just remember: You have accomplished A LOT. You are doing great things.
I'm not where I want to be but I think I'm where I suppose to be.
I was supposed to be some well reknowned pediatrician by now or maybe just your local doc, but God had other plans for me. I was supposed to be married by age 25 with maybe 2-3 kids. Ha! I don't even know if my woman parts are working properly (you know that story). However, as 'anonymous' said, I am where I'm SUPPOSED to be according to how GOD has planned my life. I suffer from fear and anxiety as well in reaching some of my goals, but I can't look at my life and think of it as a failure. You know I think you are the STUFF, Lot Dot, and your dreams are not deferred. Just waiting for you to accept them. :-)
First of all, Lottie, you have accomplished a lot and will accomplsh much much more. You haven't even lived your finest hour yet, but it's coming as sure as rain. All you have to do is believe and take a step in faith. I am not where I was supposed to be personally, married with three kids, but I am grateful for where I am. What I know for sure is that I am exactly where God wants me to be, and there's nothing greater than being in His will. One thing I will say is that you have to be open to Him when He speaks to you. I have been moved to get out of comfortable situations a couple of times, and each time it was tough (and seemed crazy to me), but WORTH it in the end. If you think there is something more that you should be doing, or that He wants you to do something more, open yourself up to hear from Him, even if what you are hearing is risky and more than you think you can handle. You really can do whatever it is you desire, and it's not too late. Just take a step. Remember life is a journey, not a destination.
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